Just a chick trying to figure out life. These are my confessions.

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The DSM Bloggess

So there I am! Living it up in my 30-somethings with a ridiculously hot hubby, 3 seriously outgoing matter-of-fact smart beautiful kids, a cat named Roxii that just won't quit, 2 chihuahuas named Lokii (what was I thinking) and Brodii who don't understand the concept of pee outside.

I'm a strongly opinionated, outspoken, inappropriate and absolutely unapologetic chick going through this thing called life and trying to do it with my sanity intact. So far, this isn't working out so well!

Follow me as I confession myself straight to the LCBO. My rants, my way...you've been warned ;) Xo

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Just one of them...weeks

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I struggle. Every single day. I got up a few pounds, down a few pounds and my food fluctuates with that. Remove the scale they say. To them I say go pound salt. That scale and I have a love/hate relationship.

I haven't been to the gym since my initial life changer assessment. That was last Monday. Unfortunately for my trainer that assessment depressed the shit out of me. To see where I am at now, where I have let myself get, just absolutely disgusts me.

Only I can change it.

And I know this.

But that doesn't mean it makes it any easier to deal with. I cry. I scream. I throw. I laugh. All of these emotions I experience when I see the scale, the assessment, other fit people (despite knowing that some have had their own demons to battle) and I face the hard reality of I reap what I sow.

Combine all this with the stress of life in general. I am a busy mom to 3+1, I work full time, I am a wife with a ridiculously amazing husband who I know struggles to deal with me but loves me unconditionally, I am a friend (to less and less people because I just don't have time for fake people and their drama) and then I am me.

I have really no specific excuse because for every excuse I could throw at myself I have an answer for a way I could get around that.

So today I write it down. I write down that I am NOT giving up on me. That I WILL find a way around this and I will push myself to do what has to be done. I will be at the gym this weekend. I have to be. No excuses.

I will check in again soon.