Just a chick trying to figure out life. These are my confessions.

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The DSM Bloggess

So there I am! Living it up in my 30-somethings with a ridiculously hot hubby, 3 seriously outgoing matter-of-fact smart beautiful kids, a cat named Roxii that just won't quit, 2 chihuahuas named Lokii (what was I thinking) and Brodii who don't understand the concept of pee outside.

I'm a strongly opinionated, outspoken, inappropriate and absolutely unapologetic chick going through this thing called life and trying to do it with my sanity intact. So far, this isn't working out so well!

Follow me as I confession myself straight to the LCBO. My rants, my way...you've been warned ;) Xo

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You are here: Home / I Could Totally Be a Celebrity

I Could Totally Be a Celebrity

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I could clearly have a story in People Magazine. For real. Check out how I could compete with top stories that are happening right this minute!!!

1. Baby North peed on Kanye

My first thought was, well who hasn't? Next is who would of thought that something as simple as having your own baby pee on you during a photo shoot would score you points for top story, and have your readership sky rocket? I can't even begin to count the number of times one of the babes have peed on myself, my husband, my mother etc. Let's not forget the famous spit up, spit in routine from thinking it was a smart idea to hold baby up and wiggle him around as she tried to get a giggle out of him. More than you bargained for mom? Yeah, we thought so too. Either one of those is absolutely front page worthy.

2. Robin Thicke and Paula are very happy right now

Holy shit, SO ARE ROGER AND I!!! I have something in common...with a CELEBRITY???? I'm feeling very very posh right now. Someone get me a perrier with a lemon wedge. Now peasant, NOW!

3. Gwyneth and Chris: What went wrong

*pouty face* I am just so sad. Because clearly their marriage completely changes everything about mine. They were the signature happy tree hugging zen couple...and they are broken? Oh the horror. If I can't pose as the troubled couple maybe by some chance I can sneak in there as the happy still married couple? It is totally doable, we could be there for our shoot with a naked baby in 30 minutes or less.

4. Kevin Connolly breaks his leg on set

Bitch please, I have photos of a left pinky toe that could put your broke leg to shame. That shit hurt fiercely but did I get any Hollywood for it? Noooooo. Apparently the toe just didn't make the cut.

5. Chris Robinson on NBA vs Survivor

(insert a very long dramatic pause here) Four words....do you have kids? Try parenting vs survivor. Matter of fact compare parenting with anything but most certainly with sports because although both can be demanding one you can quit and the other you just can't. Clearly survivor is a lot harder than playing in the NBA you ass!

6. NKOTB is heading to Vegas

I'm heading to the grocery store, what now huh???

7. Sienna Miller stinks at taking selfies

Well, so does about 98% of the population so take your first world problems elsewhere! Mine is pretty hot...

What? That is TOTALLY me. I think using the 3 shades too light foundation makes my skin glow...awesome right?